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Sometimes, Jay Spring is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “detached from reality”, he explains. “You are on cloud nine and you tell yourself, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I surpass everyone else … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are typically coming after a “sudden low”, where he feels sensitive and ashamed about his conduct, leaving him especially susceptible to criticism from external sources. He began to think he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms through digital sources – and eventually diagnosed by a professional. However, he doubts he would have accepted the diagnosis without having independently formed that realization personally. When someone suggests to somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – most notably if they harbor feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve constructed. And that world is like, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding NPD

Though people have been labelled as narcissists for over 100 years, definitions vary what the term implies the term. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” explains a psychology professor, noting the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he believes many people hide it, due to so much stigma around the condition. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to seek admiration through behaviors including displaying material goods,” the expert says. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in The Disorder

While a significant majority of people identified as having NPD are men, studies suggests this statistic does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that women with NPD is more often presented in the less obvious variety, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be more socially permissible, just kind of like everything in society,” says an individual who discusses her co-occurring conditions on social media. It is not uncommon, the two disorders appear together.

Individual Challenges

It’s hard for me with receiving negative comments and being turned down,” she shares, whenever it’s suggested that I am at fault, I tend to switch to defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Even with this behavior – which is known as “ego wounding”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her support system, as she aims to avoid falling into the harmful behaviour of her earlier years. My past relationships were toxic to my partners during adolescence,” she reveals. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she explains she and her significant other “maintain an agreement where we’ve agreed, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, when I use toxic language, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mostly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have supportive figures during development. It’s been a process of understanding all this time what is suitable or harmful to say when arguing because it wasn’t modeled for me growing up,” she says. There were no boundaries when my family members were criticizing me when I was growing up.”

Origins of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be linked to early life adversity. “There is a genetic component,” explains a mental health specialist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “connected with that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to cope in formative years”, he adds, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting certain expectations. They then “rely on those identical strategies as adults”.

In common with many of the NPD-diagnosed people, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The adult shares when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve academic success and professional advancement, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “worthy.

As he grew older, none of his relationships were successful. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he states. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of loving someone, until he met his current partner of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, in a comparable situation, has difficulty with mood stability. She is “really understanding of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he explains – it was surprisingly, she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

After a visit to his GP, John was referred to a therapist for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for talking therapy via government-funded care (a long period of therapy is the main intervention that has been proven effective NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the waiting list for a year and a half: It was indicated it is probably going to be maybe February or March next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a few individuals about his condition, because “prejudice is common that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, privately, he has embraced the diagnosis. The awareness assists me to understand myself better, which is always a good thing,” he comments. Each individual have accepted their narcissism and are looking for support for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the disorder. But the growth of NPD content creators and the development of digital groups indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number